"Wonder Twin powers form of..."

My my, superheroes sure do look different these days. Edgy. Muscular. Busty. Yes, the latest episode of Justice League Unlimited (an updated version of the Superfriends on Cartoon Network) proved that Jessica Simpson isn't the only cartoon character with an inflated bosom. JLU has 'Vixen' this Halle Berry doppelganger sporting a rack that shouldn't been seen by children.

If cleavage wasn't enough, the subplot involved a love tryst between Vixen, Hawkgirl and Green Lantern, which included double entendres re: what he could do with his ring. Desperate Housewives Superheroes?

And we can officially put an end to the Aquaman jokes, you know, the "his superpower is he can talk to fish?" Not because Aquaman distinguished himself in this episode, but rather because I've found a replacement for scorn. The Vigilante [too obscure to even find a link :-( ].

He's a cowboy who drives a scooter with a replica horsehead. Like some crazy Castro Halloween costume. And his weapons? Dual six shooters. But he did have the best line of the week in reference to his prior captivity at the hands of Hawkgirl's race: "Filthy hawks. They put me in a cell. Did things to me." Holy Midnight Express Batman.

Faster! (not that i like it that way)

Yes, I agree with James Gleick and the whole "Faster!" idea - as the velocity of information transmission and consumption increases, we're left struggling to focus on throughput and output rather than really savoring the experience. Bad.

Can I solve this for you? Probably not. But maybe I can create a map through the infomorass (oh "infomorass" - i like that. Just went and registered the url so you're too late. See, Faster!).

The helpful device I intend to supply is a ratio of elapsed time to running time as a percentage. How long it took me to consume vs. the total time it could take. For example, let's use the movie The Day After Tomorrow as an example, which I "watched" the other night.

Running Time: 124 minutes
Elapsed Time: 22 minutes (largely because I watched the L.A. decimated by tornados scene twice)
Ratio: 17.7%

What does 17.7% mean? The movie was so bad I fast-forwarded through most of it. Get it? So 100% means I watched it in real-time. 125% might suggest that it was so frickin' good that I watched part of it twice.

We'll need a snazzier name for this ratio but I assume that'll come with time.

Origins of a blog (+ what's wrong with TiVo)

An informal poll of TiVo & ex-TiVo employees reveals that there's no standard for transcribing the noise the device makes when moving from normal speed to 1x, 2x or 3x fast-forward. A trivial thing but in my mind, telling example of how TiVo just will never be a marketing-savvy organization.

The TiVo "ba-dum" (or however you want to write it) has HUGE brand value. Every TiVo user has mimicked pressing the remote while simultaneously simulating the associated noise. Sometimes aimed at a colleague during a slow meeting, other times at a friend during a long story, it's understood that this means - "speed it up and get to the good part."

Not having a way to uniformly communicate this sound, this experience, well, just feels like a missed opportunity. As if Nike didn't have a standard description of their famous logo. "Well, some of us call it a waggle, others 'the zip' but Dave in Sales thinks it's a swoosh."

You'd figure that TiVo would recognize this and leverage the idea - heck, build a whole marketing campaign around "get to the good parts." But alas, no.

What does that have to do with this blog? Only that my focus is going to be on popular culture - what you should consume, and how to fast-forward 3x to get to the good parts.

I'm not always proud of what I do, but I do it for you.

TiVo